1
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:30,906
FAMILY FATHER

2
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:34,952
The Drunken Clam

3
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,414
QUAGMIRE CALLING

4
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,667
-Quagmire.
- The three of you have to come...

5
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,377
...right now to my house.

6
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,128
- We're having drinks.
- You come.

7
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,548
- I want to show you something.
- Okay.

8
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,175
- We're going to Quagmire's house.
- Wait.

9
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,886
I have to go to the bathroom first.

10
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:54,555
Okay, let's go.

11
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,601
At last. Come in, come in. Forward.

12
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,354
Well, what's up?
What was so important?

13
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,480
Behold.

14
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,567
- It's a cat.
- Yes.

15
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,569
From today he is my cat. His name is James.

16
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,863
What is the richest thing in the world?

17
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,823
Hello, James.

18
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,950
How delicious!

19
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:18,579
Look when I scratch his butt.
It makes him angry.

20
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,916
We are taking off. We are taking off.

21
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,002
Come here, James.

22
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,254
What are we doing?

23
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,464
Quagmire, since when
do you like cats?

24
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:32,134
Since I found this little guy
under my house.

25
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,510
And I will tell you more.

26
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:37,556
Now I understand why the pharaohs
They loved these animals.

27
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,309
Look, Joe. He wants to be your friend.

28
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,810
Sorry.

29
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,854
Did you know? It doesn't matter, Quagmire.

30
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,939
That leg is almost all pus.

31
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,948
It's coming. now it comes
the part I told you about.

32
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,494
You are one of those.

33
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,915
The Drunken Clam

34
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,417
-There is no one to support Quagmire.
- It's true.

35
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,836
That cat has changed him
completely the character.

36
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,881
Yes, like when I went
the other day at his house.

37
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,801
- Who is it?
- It's me, Quagmire.

38
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,720
I'm coming for your lawnmower.

39
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,181
Quagmire is not there. It's just me, James.

40
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,850
- I'm watching the house.
- Come on, Quagmire.

41
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:25,020
That we are at 33 degrees.
We are already grown up.

42
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,564
Do you sell balls of yarn? I love the balls.

43
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,900
No. I'm here to let you lend me the lawnmower.

44
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,402
I don't think Quagmire
wants you to take it.

45
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,612
Come on now.

46
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:37,366
I think he didn't find it very funny
How did you give it back to him last time?

47
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,826
- Glenn, let me...
- No. I won't let you.

48
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,995
Hello, guys.
Tomorrow is James' birthday.

49
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,497
Sign the congratulations.

50
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,541
Do you want us to write
a card to your cat?

51
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,168
Yes, and besides the name,
put something clever.

52
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:51,463
I hate having to improvise on the spot.

53
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:56,051
"Have a mousy day.
Happy fish. "Peter."

54
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,262
Thank you. How original.

55
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,974
I have to go, I'm going to Vermont
to buy him a birthday present.

56
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:05,936
There is a store called Gatitudes.
It has really cute things for cats.

57
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,688
See you later, guys.

58
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,231
What a faggot.

59
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,651
Are you going to Vermont just to
Buy the cat a gift?

60
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:16,405
At Wal-Mart they have
scratch boards for two dollars...

61
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,074
...and Lee jeans for nine dollars.

62
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,034
And children's chairs...

63
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,329
...which you put directly in the car.
They say they are safer this way.

64
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:28,500
The only downside is that you can't recline
the support of everything.

65
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,463
We have to do something with this.

66
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,258
Lately he doesn't think anymore
than in that stupid cat.

67
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,719
Hey, the cat is alone in his house now.

68
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:42,014
Do you know what we should do?
Sneak into his house and shave him.

69
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:45,517
What a magnificent idea. Forward.
To shave the cat.

70
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,352
Damn, man, I just get so excited...

71
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,813
...when they say the title
of a movie in the dialogues.

72
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,773
Listen to me, those drug dealers...

73
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:54,943
...represent an imminent danger
for USA

74
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,529
He has said it. He has said it.

75
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,949
All I'm saying is
What could not be better.

76
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,327
He has said it. He has said it.

77
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,579
The only way I have
to resolve this crisis...

78
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,290
...it's being Superman IV,
in search of peace.

79
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,417
That's why it's titled like that.

80
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,552
The cat has to be here.

81
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,888
Let's leave him a good human turd
in the cat litter...

82
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,390
...to make you think
who is very sick.

83
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,683
Here it is.

84
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,311
Rock 'n' roll!

85
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,648
Yes, it's time to shave. Pass me the blade.

86
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,820
- Oh my god!
- Peter, you killed him.

87
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,532
Do you want to calm down?
He still has six lives left.

88
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,408
Okay, five more lives.

89
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:49,456
- Four, three, two, one...
- Peter, stop it already.

90
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,750
- What do we do?
- Okay, I have an idea.

91
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,753
How about we hide the body
and we leave a window open?

92
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,755
This way it will look like he has escaped.

93
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,967
- We won't be able to get rid of this one.
- Maybe yes.

94
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,512
Look, I have a lucky paw.

95
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,976
Peter, you couldn't settle
with carrying the cat...

96
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:12,145
...that you had to empty it
the beer fridge?

97
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:16,525
"Oh yeah?" That's my answer.

98
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:20,946
Shit. I hate cops.

99
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,032
Almost as much as the alarm
ultrasensitive of my car.

100
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,800
The mother who gave birth to her!

101
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,053
- What do we have, partner?
- Empty alcohol containers.

102
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,181
A drunk driver
and covered in blood.

103
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,893
Scratches on the arms. a corpse
bloody in the back seat.

104
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,562
Some shovels and a map made
by hand with the annotation:

105
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,732
- "Here we will hide the corpse."
- Everything seems to be in order.

106
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,025
Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.

107
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,531
Dope. Marijuana bag.
You are detained, scum.

108
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:05,741
Come on now.

109
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:10,537
I don't like having drug addicts
in my city. I am a family man.

110
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,080
He has said it.

111
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,919
QUAHOG POLICE STATION

112
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,464
Good, Brian. Your family has come
to pay your bail.

113
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,051
If you don't mind, we'll start with
prison rape jokes.

114
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:27,304
I break the ice.
What, Brian? Has it been a hard day?

115
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,681
Or not just the day?

116
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,642
Penis.

117
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,353
There are all the pieces.
Let someone fit them however they want.

118
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:38,482
Brian, what do you like the most?
of baseball? Maybe the bat?

119
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,442
Chris, okay. Please.

120
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:42,819
Brian, we're glad.
that they have released you.

121
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,698
And now in the car, do you want
a donut to sit on?

122
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:51,912
Do you see it? I also make jokes
like the whole family.

123
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:55,249
I can't believe they stopped me
for five grams of marijuana.

124
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,919
Well, it's your fault.
Marijuana is illegal for a reason.

125
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,213
Don't be hypocritical. You smoke.

126
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,383
Yes, of course, Brian.
But I think about the children.

127
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,760
Marijuana is illegal to protect them.

128
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:11,181
It is illegal because William R. Hearst
mounted a smear campaign...

129
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,350
...against marijuana in the 30s...

130
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,978
...to protect your interests
in the timber industry.

131
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,146
Because hemp was ready
to replace wood...

132
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,983
...as cheap raw material
to make paper.

133
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,654
There you have your campaign
of discredit, Brian.

134
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:30,450
Mom is right. The drug is bad.
Haven't you seen the ads?

135
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:38,083
Don't look at me like that.
I can stop smoking whenever I want.

136
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,877
How about now?

137
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,171
Better next week.

138
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,256
You disappoint me.

139
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,050
I don't care. You are a dog.

140
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:50,012
I don't have to put up with that from a Jew.

141
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:54,016
Oh! And you criticize me
for smoking weed, anti-Semitic?

142
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:58,270
Also, my father is Jewish
and my mother is Protestant.

143
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,813
Yourself, man.

144
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,361
Can you move the car away?
I have to go to work.

145
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:10,949
- Okay, wait for the joint to finish.
- Okay.

146
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:18,999
- Open up, Brian. I'm Joe.
- Shit. One moment.

147
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,421
Brian, your parole...

148
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,883
...requires you to undergo a surprise analysis
for drugs I need urine.

149
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,719
- Right now?
- Yes, right now.

150
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,514
Take magazines to get you in the mood.

151
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,683
- And why am I going to...?
- Sorry. I haven't done it in a long time.

152
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:39,478
Hey, I hate having to do it.
in front of you.

153
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,397
Okay, I'll wait outside.
Here, some cream.

154
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,816
-Joe.
- Yeah, sorry.

155
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,904
- Stewie, I need your urine.
- Really?

156
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,198
Joe wants to do an analysis on me.
And if I give him mine...

157
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:55,452
...you will see that I have smoked weed.
I need some of yours to...

158
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,329
I think you don't need to get naked.

159
00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,791
But it's not necessary either
Don't undress me.

160
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,672
Come on, Stewie. Hurry up and pee.
Joe is waiting.

161
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,341
Brian, you know if you don't look at me,
it doesn't come out

162
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,511
Brian, what is this?

163
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,973
- Hello, Lois.
- He discovered us. Runs.

164
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,351
Is this how you intend to pass
drug testing?

165
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:23,021
Stealing a child's urine?
My God, it's disgusting.

166
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:26,066
No. The disgusting thing is to prohibit
marijuana consumption.

167
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,026
It has been shown that it is less
dangerous than alcohol.

168
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:30,863
No, what is disgusting is the argument
from the movie Baby Mama.

169
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:33,448
what happens
When a 40-year-old woman...

170
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:36,994
...asks her 41-year-old friend
May it be your rental uterus?

171
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,872
Push, Angie, push harder.
Oh, he's dead.

172
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:43,792
If you have to go to this extreme
so they don't catch you smoking joints...

173
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,253
- ...it's time to change.
- You're right.

174
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,505
- It's time to change.
- Thank you.

175
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:51,383
It's time for Quahog
legalize marijuana.

176
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,468
I wasn't referring precisely to that.

177
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:56,805
Look at the size of Stewie's penis.
Come on, guys.

178
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,599
This is how God made me.

179
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:01,643
QUAHOG PARK

180
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:02,686
LEGALIZE MARIJUANA NOW!

181
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,564
No more oppression.
As free American adults...

182
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,233
...we have the right to consume
marijuana if we want.

183
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:11,403
Enough of state manipulation
under a false guise of morality.

184
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:14,448
Enough of the false war
against drugs.

185
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,829
Hey, you're not focusing this right, Brian.

186
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:24,249
If you want to gain followers,
Don't give them a Ben Stein type thing.

187
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,628
You have to do it with more art.
Look. Look.

188
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:41,266
Everyone come closer
And listen carefully

189
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:44,811
When I say everyone
Sometimes you need a rush

190
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:48,273
Kittens need a ball of wool
And the puppies, a stick

191
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:51,527
One bag is enough for us.
Marijuana to get us 100

192
00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:55,781
One, two, three, four
Five, six, seven, eight

193
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,157
Marijuana, marijuana

194
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,201
Everything is better with marijuana

195
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,955
It's the only help you'll need
Because everything is better with marijuana

196
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:06,208
Very good.
It seems like you're getting it.

197
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,670
- When Texans want to march
- They attack a faggot

198
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,463
When fools want to hallucinate

199
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:13,257
Rent Rocketeer

200
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,092
When Michael Jackson
He wants to get to a hundred

201
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,802
- He fucks someone like me
- Yes!

202
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,721
We only need a bag
From Mary to forget the problems

203
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,849
One, two, three!

204
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,684
Marijuana, marijuana

205
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,644
Everything is better with marijuana

206
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,354
You don't need speed or speed

207
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,399
Because everything is better with marijuana

208
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,067
Now you, Brian.

209
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:36,154
As H.L. Mencken said
The man in the street is a fool

210
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:39,700
And as Helen Keller said

211
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:43,120
use your head
And don't let them put fear in your body

212
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,955
Because the only thing we need
It's marijuana

213
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,748
to want to laugh

214
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:49,209
And one, two
Marijuana, marijuana

215
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:51,170
everyone is better
with marijuana

216
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,172
Fight if you want against her

217
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,507
But you know everything is better
with marijuana

218
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,911
One, two, three, four
Five, six, seven, eight

219
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,038
And one, two, three, four

220
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,040
Five, six, seven

221
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,375
Marijuana, marijuana

222
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,293
Everything is better with marijuana

223
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,170
you get happy
When you plant the seed

224
00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:18,757
Because everything is better
with marijuana

225
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,928
Everything is better with marijuana

226
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,850
QUAHOG CITY COUNCIL

227
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:32,271
And as mayor of Quahog,
Today I sign the law...

228
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:35,440
...of the legalization of marijuana.

229
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:40,487
Good afternoon. Today in headlines,
Marijuana is now legal.

230
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:43,407
Le...le...legal. Which is already legal.

231
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,159
Legal in Quahog.

232
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:49,746
And thanks to her, everything is much better.

233
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,708
Okay, you read the next one.

234
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,293
- No, you read it.
- No, you.

235
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:55,544
Okay, okay.

236
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,296
- Then we read it together.
- Okay.

237
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:58,422
- Are you ready?
- Yes.

238
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:02,092
Now Ollie Williams brings us
weather forecasts.

239
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:03,886
What time do we have, Ollie?

240
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,262
Not bad.

241
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,346
Total.

242
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:09,683
Do you see it? Tell me that things
They are no better now in Quahog.

243
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:13,770
It's shocking, Brian. I still don't feel
very comfortable with this situation.

244
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:17,024
Lois, since legalization
of marijuana, crime has been reduced...

245
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:20,527
...productivity has increased
and the Doctor Who audience.

246
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:24,448
Yes, but Peter is so cooked that he barely
can have a decent flashback.

247
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,117
Trunk, this is better than...

248
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:31,205
No, wait, it's worse than...

249
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:35,626
I mean, better than... I don't know,
Here is a list of famous repellents.

250
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:48,222
all the rappers

251
00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:50,557
Princess Diana

252
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,768
Chris Martin again
Chris Martin's parents

253
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,272
the protagonist of The Office

254
00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:58,857
Chris Martin's ancestors

255
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,205
- Hello, Griffin.
- Mr. Pewterschmidt?

256
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,249
- Hello, how are you?
- Not very well.

257
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,377
Well I'm sorry. Wow, a limousine?

258
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,462
Are these light sodas to drink?

259
00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:22,840
No. The diet sodas are mine.

260
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,385
Listen, Griffin. Thank you
to your dog's stupid crusade...

261
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,428
...people use hemp for everything.

262
00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:31,056
Fabrics, fuel and paper.

263
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:34,101
So I'm losing millions
of dollars in wood.

264
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,936
I even had to sell the records
of the Bangles.

265
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,272
And I was still learning
the letters from memory.

266
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,733
Hollyhocks in a vase
With cherimoyas

267
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,151
I want Tylenol

268
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:47,781
I'll have a flan and a flower
And with Chu-Li I go

269
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,950
Tony Danza says, "Who's the boss?"

270
00:15:55,581 --> 00:15:58,041
I'm losing money
because of your dog.

271
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,043
I have to get them back
to make hemp illegal.

272
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,670
And the only way to do it is...

273
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:05,465
...making them afraid to put them
against marijuana.

274
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,718
- Will you help me?
- Please, Mr. Pewterschmidt.

275
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,803
I could never wear
against Brian.

276
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,514
I'll give you this butterfly yo-yo with light.

277
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:14,474
- Forever?
- Not forever.

278
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:17,144
You can use it today and one day in summer.

279
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,562
- Yes.
- For the car.

280
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,447
Bye bye.

281
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:34,119
Carter, I'm done riding
our anti-marijuana video.

282
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,662
Look at it.

283
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,706
Hey, I have a great idea.

284
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,000
We are going to kill six million Jews.

285
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:44,087
Bravo, yes, I'm in.
How did it occur to you?

286
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:48,800
Well, it occurred to me when I was
smoking a marijuana joint.

287
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,845
Let everyone take puffs
who likes marijuana.

288
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,723
Look, there it is. Give us some.

289
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,017
Then maybe.

290
00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:01,230
Now we go to France
to steal all their art objects.

291
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,315
Yes, very good. Let's go to France.

292
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:04,691
Not bad, huh?

293
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:06,985
Damn, it was Fox News.

294
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,321
Apparently they have the rights
of imitating Hitler.

295
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:10,948
And they don't want me to defame him.

296
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,410
Hi, I'm Peter.

297
00:17:15,494 --> 00:17:19,289
You know me from the movie Harold,
Kumar and Peter go to the burger.

298
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:22,125
As you can see, I am enjoying
of a minimal hamburger.

299
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,711
Because? Because I don't take drugs.

300
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:27,297
It only took me five minutes to get there.

301
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:30,342
I don't entertain myself
like all those hangers-on.

302
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,636
Because I don't get high.

303
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:35,222
It was a good movie.

304
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,851
Neil Patrick Harris was given
the role of How I Met Your Mother...

305
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:40,269
...for that movie.

306
00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:41,895
I've only seen the series once.

307
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,897
But what really shocked me
a lot...

308
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:47,442
...is that the voice of the man of the future
be that of Bob Saget.

309
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:50,529
The guy in the series is older, right?

310
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:53,407
In other words, it's not that when I'm older
It's going to be Bob Saget.

311
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,576
It has no logic.

312
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:57,202
Thank you for your time.

313
00:17:57,286 --> 00:17:58,704
Well, what do you think?

314
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,081
Dad, I agree
with what you want to do.

315
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,417
But I don't think it will work.

316
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,877
It's very artificial.

317
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,879
Do you want me to give you
a spanking, young lady?

318
00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:08,213
- Yes.
- Great.

319
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:13,135
If Brian achieved his goal
It was because he spoke about the subject with passion.

320
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,054
No offense, but none
You both have that gift.

321
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,640
What do you think?
I can be very persuasive.

322
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:21,727
This is how I used to attract
to wayward sailors until their death...

323
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,520
...with my siren song.

324
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:55,177
Hello, Brian. I see you well.

325
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,596
- And what luster of hair.
- Don't give me shit, Carter.

326
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,640
- What did you call me for?
- Come on, come in.

327
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,308
I want to teach you something.

328
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,732
- What is this?
- It's your novel, Brian.

329
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,859
Faster than the speed of love.

330
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:12,694
It can be distributed tomorrow.

331
00:19:12,778 --> 00:19:15,781
You just have to declare yourself publicly
against marijuana.

332
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,116
Forget it, Carter. I will not accept blackmail.

333
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,160
Not for a throw
of a million copies.

334
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,620
It's two million.

335
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,581
And I have also commissioned your portrait
in oil for the back cover.

336
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:27,709
And what is this?

337
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:31,213
A book club sticker?
from Oprah? It seems so.

338
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,632
That? Oh really? My God.

339
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,385
I can also get you
a night in bed with Oprah.

340
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:40,222
Okay, just the sticker.
What do you say to me? Done deal?

341
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,224
You don't have to sell yourself like that, Brian.

342
00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:48,730
Your novel is good enough
to sell itself on its own merits.

343
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,316
- You think?
- Yes of course.

344
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:55,279
It's your chance.
You can be a best-selling author.

345
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:59,199
You just have to give a passionate
speech against marijuana.

346
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,327
Forget it, Carter. Even Stewie says
that the book is pretty good.

347
00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,288
Right, Stewie?

348
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,624
He almost sings against marijuana better.

349
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:10,502
And that's why bad maria is

350
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,629
ANTI-MARIJUANA Rally

351
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:15,716
I have heard how much I needed
to make a decision.

352
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:19,511
That's why I re-legalize
marijuana again.

353
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:27,060
More news. A Quahog Writer
has broken the record...

354
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:29,563
...of the worst-selling novel
of all time.

355
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:34,776
Faster than the speed of love
He hasn't sold a single copy...

356
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:37,905
...thanks to the widespread beating
of literary critics.

357
00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:40,157
Then the children
They are becoming more and more attractive.

358
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,243
And that... That's really cool.

359
00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:45,412
This is humiliating.

360
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,291
I have betrayed all my principles
and I haven't gotten anything in return.

361
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:50,501
My book failed.

362
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,504
Look at it another way.
Yes you have achieved something.

363
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:55,589
Marijuana is illegal thanks to you.

364
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:59,718
And Stewie has built himself a fort
with all your unsold copies.

365
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,845
My house is made of mediocrity.

366
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:07,559
Hello, I want you to know
that I have gone up to 50 dollars...

367
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:10,896
...the reward for finding
to James. And I won't ask questions.

368
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,814
I took it.

369
00:21:47,391 --> 00:21:49,393
Translated by Manuel Fuentes Sierra


